Skinny Jeans | 
I have this pair of jeans in my closet in the section my husband refers to as my ‘aspirational wardrobe.’ I really did wake up one morning in May of this year, hit a new high on my bathroom scale, and vowed that I would get back into those skinny jeans. And guess what? I did it!!
From the moment that I saw you, hangin’ out at the mall
I had to own you, your rhinestones and all
you didn’t come cheap, but somehow I knew
that whatever the cost, it was worth having you
For years we were together, every Saturday night,
we’d go out dancin’, you’d hold me in tight,
but you were unforgiving and you wouldn’t let me grow
Now I can’t put you on -- but I can’t let you go
skinny jeans, skinny jeans, you’re still hanging ‘round
In the back of my closet and that’s bringin’ me down
this morning, I woke up, and made me a vow
skinny jeans, gonna get back, into you somehow
some things got between us, and now you’re too tight
but I know it’s all my fault, and I’m gonna make it right
no it won’t be easy, but it’s not too late
just put my mind to it, and I’m gonna look, gonna gonna look great
skinny jeans, skinny jeans, you’re stilll hanging ‘round
In the back of my closet and that’s bringin’ me down
this morning, I woke up, and made me a vow
skinny jeans, gonna get back, into you somehow
For months now, I’ve worked hard, until, yesterday
I went to the closet, and pushed those ‘fat clothes’ away
I grabbed you -- and I can’t believe how it felt,
to pull the zipper up, and buckle my belt!
Skinny jeans, skinny jeans, glad I kept you around
‘cause tonight, my darlin’s, we’re goin out on the town
I worked my butt off, now you fit me just right
so I’m wearin’ my skinny jeans to the party tonight
You can’t buy thin -- believe me, I’ve tried. I even hired a health-food cook for a month once — I gained four pounds that month. So, I wrote these lyrics as a reminder that there’s no way to get what we want other than through our own efforts.
Money can’t buy you happiness
Of this, I’m a believer
There’s something I want, I must confess
-- But money can’t buy that either
( I jus’ wanna be)
Thin! -- I don’t deny it. Thin! -- I wanna try it
Thin! -- but I can’t buy it. Guess I’ll have to di- di- diet
Thin! -- not telling you lies. Thin! -- I want smaller thighs
Thin! -- but I realize, I guess I’ll have to exercise
Got myself a private chef
Who serves me what I should be eatin’
But that didn’t solve my problem yet
Because I’m always cheatin’
(I jus’ wanna be)
Thin! -- I don’t deny it. Thin! -- I wanna try it
Thin! -- but I can’t buy it. Guess I’ll have to di- di- diet
Thin! -- not telling you lies. Thin! -- I want smaller thighs
Thin! -- but I realize, I guess I’ll have to exercise
Well I hired a trainer at the gym
To keep me exercising
But half the time I don’t show up
So I’m still the same size when...
(I really wanna be)
Thin! -- I don’t deny it. Thin! -- I wanna try it
Thin! -- but I can’t buy it. Guess I’ll have to di- di- diet
Thin! -- Ain’t being funny. Thin! – But let’s face it honey
Thin! – If all it took was money, I’d look like a Playboy Bunny!
Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin!
Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin!
Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin!
Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin! Thin!
Think of this as the musical equivalent of all those ‘before and after’ pictures you see in People Magazine and elsewhere. Those are always so inspiring to me, and I wanted to capture that feeling in a song. I don’t care if it isn’t politically correct -- I am celebrating that I can once again wear a leopard print dress without looking completely ridiculous (god, I hope I don’t actually look ridiculous...no, don’t think that, don’t think that...)
I spent years in misery
‘Cause everyone who looked at me
Was thinking evil thoughts about my thighs
Made up my mind, I’d had enough
I was determined to get slim and buff
I hit the gym, and no more fries!
Oh yeah you bet, it was difficult
But you can’t argue with my result
Now what you see, when you’re lookin’ at my body…
I’m a hottie now! (gimme something sexy)
I’m a hottie now! (something that barely fits me)
worked on my body, and I’m a hottie now!
Now I adore the clothing store
No plus sizes anymore
I love’em ‘specially when they’re colorful and gaudy
So load me up with all the best
Put my figure to the test
Remember Mister, you’re dealin’ with a hottie!
All dressed up, and I’m headin’ out
Feelin’ sassy, without a doubt
I’m gonna flaunt it, and be a little naughty
‘Cause I’m a hottie now! (she’s earned the right to say so)
I’m a hottie now! ( So come on baby let’s go)
it’s time to party – yeah! -- ‘cause I’m a Hottie now!
I know what those guys are thinking
As they sit there staring
How did that gal, turn into such a hottie?
I’m a hottie now! (she is lookin’ so good)
I’m a hottie now! (always knew that she could)
worked on my body, and I’m a … whoa
I’m a hottie now! (I’ve earned the right to say so)
I’m a hottie now! ( So come on baby let’s go)
It’s time to party, ‘cause I’m a Hottie now, yeah yeah
Though most of the songs have a rock/country feel, I love listening to hip hop when I exercise, and wanted to have something in this collection that would really make you want to move. And smile.
yeah, come on, give me something I can use
something make you wanna move
yeah, come on, let’s do this! Let’s do this here!
You say you don’t want no gut (no gut)
Don’t want to have no big butt (uh huh)
Well then get up outta your rut
Come on y’all, let’s make that cut (hey!)
That’s it now, get off your duff
No more fat, we have had enough
Gotta do a little huff and puff
so that you can strutt your stuff
We’re in a feel good revolution
You just need some evolution
To improve your constitution
Get a move on! That’s the solution!
You got to use it, to lose it. You got to use it, to lose it
You got to use it, to lose it. You got to use it, to lose it
C’mon now, you wan’ it, right?
Then you know what to do -- just get up and move!
Ain’t gonna get it unless you sweat it
So if you wanna lose it, then get up and use it!
The food you gotta ration
and let’s see you do some dashin’
Throw your soul in, do it with some passion
then you’ll be stylin’ in the latest fashion
You got that body for a reason
So come on now, do a little wheezin’
Just think, it will be pleasin’
To show it off in the summer season
We’re in a feel good revolution
You just need some evolution
To improve your constitution
Get a move on! That’s the solution!
You got to use it, to lose it. You got to use it, to lose it
You got to use it, to lose it. You got to use it, to lose it
Yeah, you got to use it -- Yeah, you got to lose it
Yeah, you got to use it -- Yeah, you got to lose it -- Just do it, yeah!
The Incredible Shrinking Woman |
One day, my 14 year old daughter asked me, if I could have any superhero power, what would it be? I answered that I would like to eat whatever I want and not exercise and yet never gain weight. “That’s not a superhero power, Mom” she said. Oh how wrong she is! But it got me to thinking, that in reality you don’t need superhero powers to lose weight and get in shape... In fact all it takes is some pretty ordinary powers, applied daily.
She’s the Incredible Shrinking Woman! Incredible Shrinking Woman!
I'm on the road to losing all the weight that I've put on
People say it's hard to do, but I've been very strong
See I've got some secret weapons to help me win this war
And If you'll keep it quiet baby, I'll tell you what they are...
She’s the Incredible Shrinking Woman! Incredible Shrinking Woman!
Incredible Shrinking Woman! Incredible Shrinking Woman!
You see I'm a superhero, with powers of epic might
I use wills of steel, at every meal, to control my every bite
And with my xray vision I can see without a doubt
There's a skinny girl inside me, I’ve just got to let her out
She’s the Incredible Shrinking Woman! Incredible Shrinking Woman!
Incredible Shrinking Woman! Incredible Shrinking Woman!
So I scale the tallest buildings, by running up the stairs
Some people find that funny, but it works so I don't care
Faster than a speeding bullet, you see me run the track
I'm shedding pounds and getting fit, and never looking back
She’s the Incredible Shrinking Woman! Incredible Shrinking Woman!
Incredible Shrinking Woman! Incredible Shrinking Woman!
Lifting weights, squats and crunches, I’ve made myself quite buff
Stronger than a locomotive, now I’m powerful and tough
The Incredible Shrinking Woman, that's what my friends call me
Each day a little smaller, it's a miracle to see
She’s the Incredible Shrinking Woman! Incredible Shrinking Woman!
Incredible Shrinking Woman! Incredible Shrinking Woman!
She’s the Incredible Shrinking Woman! Incredible Shrinking Woman!
Incredible Shrinking Woman! Incredible Shrinking Woman!
I’m Shrinking!
I love shopping at Saks, I admit it. One of the things that convinced me in May when I hit the weight wall, that it was time to do something about it, was that many of the ‘splurge’ designers didn’t go up to the size I was — so even if I wanted to treat myself to Dolce and Gabbana I couldn’t (well, except for a purse but that is very unfulfilling when you are after a cocktail dress.) And, yes, I recently rewarded myself after six months and 30 pounds, with a leopard print Dolce dress – woohoo!
Here I am at Neiman’s
though I don’t have the budget
but I’m not here to buy so
I’m gonna have to fudge it
I find it entertaining
to come in here
and try on fancy clothes that
wouldn’t fit me last year
Think I’ll go to Saks
just because I wanna
try on all their Gucci
and their Dolce and Gabbana
what used to be a struggle
fits me just right
what used to be traumatic
is now a delight
Delight, la la la la la la la ....
and when I’m feelin’ saucy
Versace is my style
I’m Vogue-ing in the dressing room
grinning all the while
I never used to touch it
cause man that stuff runs small
now if I had the money
I would buy them all
so
Think I’ll go to Saks
just because I wanna
try on all their Gucci
and their Dolce and Gabbana
what used to be a struggle
fits me just right
what used to be traumatic
is now a delight
Delight, la la la la la la la ....
Think I’ll go to Saks
just because I wanna
try on all their Gucci
and their Dolce and Gabbana
what used to be a struggle
fits me just right
what used to be traumatic
is now a delight
Delight, la la la la la la la ....
You Da Boss |
Food calls me from the fridge, it really does. Sometimes I have to have intense mental battles with myself, just so I don’t attack the ice cream in the middle of the night. I really wanted a song that could serve as an ‘in case of emergency listen to this’ last ditch reminder when my willpower’s slipping and that cheesecake’s calling. But, this song has turned out so fun, I listen to it all the time. Maybe that is helping the message sink in, that I am the boss over what I eat.
Yo, I need to talk to you
Before you go and mess it up
I gotta call it like I see it
So y’all now listen up
This is your conscience talking
This is your conscience talking
And I know just whatcha feelin’
I know with whatcha dealin’
But you don’t need that piece of pie
Gotta let it go and pass you by
and I’m here to remind you why
‘cause you want to be lookin’ and feelin’ fly
You Da Boss, You Da Boss, yeah
You rate, hey hey, you rate hey hey
You Da Boss, You Da Boss, yeah
You rate, hey hey, you rate hey hey
Say You Da Boss!
This is your willpow’r talking
This is your willpow’r talking
I know that it’s tasty
But hey now don’t be hasty
‘cause you don’t need that cupcake
No, that’d be a mistake
And I know that it’s callin’
But hey now don’t be fallin’
No no, no no no, don’t be fallin…
Cause You Da Boss
No no, no no no, don’t be fallin…
Cause you dat, You Da Boss
You Da Boss, You Da Boss, yeah
You rate, hey hey, you rate hey hey
You Da Boss, You Da Boss, yeah
You rate, hey hey, you rate hey hey
Say You Da Boss!
I’m here to remind you
That you da boss, not da food
Stick that in yo’ attitude
And show that you got fortitude
Say you da boss, not da food
Remember that with gratitude
‘cause It ain’t just some platitude
You da boss, not da food
You Da Boss, You Da Boss, yeah
You rate, hey hey, you rate hey hey
You Da Boss, You Da Boss, yeah
You rate, hey hey, you rate hey hey
Say You Da Boss!
So many people just starting to exercise have told me they hate looking at themselves in the mirror at the gym. I felt this way too, so to motivate myself, I printed up a tee-shirt (in reverse so I could read it in the mirror) saying this. I got so many positive comments about the shirt, I was driving to the gym one day wearing it, and glanced in the car’s rearview mirror (where of course the genesis of this is printed) -- and the lyrics literally just popped into my head.
Mirrors, mirrors everywhere, but nothing good to see
I thought for the longest time that this was just my destiny
Then one day, decided, this ain’t who I want to be
So it’s to the gym I go to face the body facing me
Objects in the mirror will get thinner than they now appear
I don’t like what I’m seeing — yeah, but that’s the reason I come here
And if I come most every day, I know those pounds will disappear
Objects in the mirror will get thinner than they now appear
Na na na na now, Na na na na now
Na na na na now, Na na na na now
First time that I came here, oh, to stay took all my might
Walked in, saw those mirrors, well I almost died of fright
But now I come most every day, and much to my delight
In that mirror, in the weight room, now I see a different sight
Objects in the mirror will get thinner than they now appear
I don’t like what I’m seeing — yeah, but that’s the reason I come here
And if I come most every day, I know those pounds will disappear
Objects in the mirror will get thinner than they now appear
Na na na na now, Na na na na now
Na na na na now, Na na na na now
Mirrors were the enemy
Now they don’t bother me
In fact I’m pretty happy, with everything I see
There’s this feeling that I get
When I catch my silhouette
And turn to face the happy person smilin’ back at me
Objects in the mirror, will get thinner than they now appear
I don’t like what I’m seeing — yeah, but that’s the reason I come here
And if I come most every day, I know those pounds will disappear
Objects in the mirror will get thinner than they now appear
Na na na na now, Na na na na now
Na na na na now, Na na na na now
Na na na na now, Na na na na now
Na na na na now, Na na na na now
Who The Hell Is That? |
I’ve had this moment so many times – looked forward to shots of a vacation or special event someone would be sending me, and then felt horror at what I saw when I got them and had to face the truth about how I really looked. But a few days ago, my daughter Googled a picture of us that had run in a newspaper last year and showed it to me. “Doesn’t that make you feel great?” She said. “Why?” I asked. “Because you look sooooo much better now than you did a year ago!” That made my day!
About six months back, I took one helluva trip
had a swank vacation on a big cruise ship
but later all my friends sent their photos to me
and I sure didn’t like, what I had to see
(and I said)
who the hell is that? ‘Cause it sure ain’t me!
how’d I get so fat? It’s a shame to see
something’s gone wrong with the photo quality
who the hell is that, cause it sure ain’t me
Lookin' hard in the mirror, didn’t like what I saw
had a talking with myself and I laid down the law
gotta make some changes, gotta start right away
I refuse to live my life, looking this way
(and I said)
who the hell is that? ‘Cause it sure ain’t me!
how’d I get so fat? It’s a shame to see
something’s gone wrong with the photo quality
who the hell is that, cause it sure ain’t me
I’d say it was easy, but I don’t like to lie
I thought about food every day that went by
It’s been six months and I’m happy to say
I'm so thrilled with what I see in my mirror today...
I'm lookin' more like a movie star, someone on TV
think I’ll look longer cause I like what I see
who the hell is that, you're asking me?
who the hell is that, yeah baby it's me
I said, who the hell is that, now I think it's me?
how'd I get so fit, 'cause I like what I see
there ain't nothin' wrong with the photo quality
who the hell is that, yeah baby it's me
I’d say it was easy, but I don’t like to lie
I thought about food every day that went by
It’s been six months and I’m happy to say
I'm thrilled with what I see in my mirror today...
who the hell is that, now I think it's me?
how'd I get so fit, 'cause I like what I see
there ain't nothin' wrong with the photo quality
who the hell is that, yeah baby it's me
who the hell is that, yeah baby it's me
who the hell is that, yeah baby it's me
Where would SkinnySongs be without one good revenge song? This exact story only happened to me in my fantasy life but I still love it.
Today, I have to say, was the best day of my life
I hate to admit it -- but it sure felt nice
you pulled up a chair after checking me out
but when I looked at you, you were shocked to find out…
that this lady you’d been sizing up from behind
yeah, this lady, you’d been undressing with your mind
with this lady you were wanting to score
but she's the same girl you dumped six months before!
you dumped me at 16 now I’m blowin’ you off at 8
You told me I was fat -- now honey don’t I look great?
I’ve dropped four dress sizes down, now you're coming around
if you didn’t want me then, then you don’t deserve me now!
I cried and cried and cried the day you put me down
you said I’d gotten dumpy and you stopped hangin’ round
make no mistake about what you see
I didn’t do this for you -- I did it for me
you dumped me at 16 now I’m blowin’ you off at 8
you told me I was fat -- now honey don’t I look great?
I’ve dropped four dress sizes down, now you're coming around
if you didn’t want me then, then you don’t deserve me now!
you dumped me at 16 now I’m blowin’ you off at 8
You told me I was fat -- now honey don’t I look great?
you did me a favor, that you didn’t mean to do
I’m rid of 30 pounds and I’m rid of you too!
(you don't deserve me now)
I'd say I've gotten rid of some excess baggage
how do you like this new package?
